About me:
Well, for one my name is Tim.I am from Houston, Texas. My best friends are Brittany and Talena. Click on their picture on the right to be wisked away to there pages. Well leave a comment and let me know what you
think! Remember to alway have fun, make friends, and find and advnture!!
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Recently:
Back In Houston
2007-11-23
Sioux Falls Update
2007-09-11
Starting LIfe over
2007-05-27
Starting LIfe over
2007-05-27
Starting LIfe over
2007-05-27
taylor - 2005-04-10 23:06:44
man i wish i would have keep in touch then i was going through all the same feeling you were i was thinking of ways to get out and all the whole 9 yards.dummy me
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How can I possibly study with so much on my mind
2005-02-07 -
10:20 p.m.
I have been thinking a lot lately about the things that have been going on here at base. The real thing that bothers me is that they do not understand where the booters are coming from on most of these issues. Most say they hate the changes because of lack of sleep and no study time. My chief complaint is that being here I have begun to doubt my decision to join the navy. I keep going back and thinking about why I joined the navy. How I really had no other options but to go this route. I did it to see myself succeed and for others to see that I am trying to get over what my past has brought upon me. The thing the petty officers do not understand to us booters is that this here is our first true impression of what the Navy is really like. The fleet returnees keep telling us the fleet is nothing like this but if we do not know anything else what do we have to compare it to? Nothing, we have nothing else to compare it to besides boot camp, which half of us can�t remember anyways. It reminds me of an old saying that my English teacher used to tell us when writing essays, �You never get a second chance to make a first impression.� This is all we know and this is all we care about. The captain thinks we can see things on a boarder scale but he fails to understand that most of us here still have a high school mentality. We are being charged with keeping are grades up and trying to keep up with an ever changing routine. If they set down a routine and stick to it then I might find it a little easier to pass my time here. Yet, as it is I go in and out of each day in a daze. Taking in information but not retaining it one bit. My other friends are not doing so well. Some of the smartest ones I know here are dropping in morale faster than I can try to keep them up. I do not have enough strength at the present time to keep track of everything.
I keep thinking about that one; my strength. When back home I had the support of friends to help me forgot about everything and let go even for a few moments. Here I am constantly around it and I have no escape. My strength is being pushed to its limits because it has never had to deal with something of this magnitude. What I could really use right now is a friend here on base who I can just sit with and talk to; where I can forget where I am. It is a lot to ask right now because everyone is mainly concerned with themselves and how the changes are affecting them. Maybe, I hope, that I will find the answer soon and I can begin to recover from the absence of all my close friends back home. Having close friends is so much different over a long distance. I keep wanting to just call Talena and tell her I am ready to come home. I can�t keep on going like this. I do not know what to do. I am lost, how can they accept everyone to conform when they can�t. People come here from all different types of lives. Some harder than others and it is all beginning to take its toll on the strongest of us.
I keep thinking back on everything. Why am I here? Why do I choose to stay? Then I answer my own questions. For Talena, she is counting on me to make something of myself not just for her but also for myself. For Ryan, how would he take it if I choose failure rather than sticking it through. Will he feel I have let him down? For Brittany, she knows how hard I am taking all this but fails to admit it and she has been trying her hardest to be the person I was for all those years to her. She will not regret if I choose to leave but she would be greatly disappointed because she will then wonder what I will do instead.
So much to think about how can I possibly begin to study. I am the type of person that needs answers and I am finding a lack of them lately. For now I have choose to bite my time and hope for the best because that is all most of us have right now, hope. I feel like I am back home waiting for the time of happiness. I joined the navy in hopes of finding it. It hasn�t come yet�
Tim
